#nextchapter - Intentions for 2015

by - 1:02 AM

*Disclaimer - I wrote this on my flight out of Chicago. The shift has started...

As I embark on my two week trip for Costa Rica, I am finally writing the update that I have been putting off for the last thirty days.

Live your passion - The Fit Girl's Kitchen
sunset // playa negra

I’ve written it a million times in my head, but have suffered the most aggressive writers block I can remember. I’ve felt guilty for neglecting the “blog” part of FGK, but am making peace with the fact that I cannot do everything. I WILL not do everything.

That is what this trip is for - to get away. To reconnect again to myself. To process. To feel. To manifest. To serve myself.

We cannot serve others if we are not serving ourselves - mentally, physically, spiritually, all of it. Some may see this as selfish, but I assure you with my experiences over the last year, I do not believe that is true.

beach path // playa negra

So we search. We unconsciously become dependent on others for justification, or for them to supply something we are lacking. And then it crumbles. Everything implodes. We are constantly moving through cycles, riding waves that we neither predict nor control.

The last few months have been tidal waves - my separation from my husband. The loss of my grandmother. Selling my house. Leaving the city I thought I might be living in for the long haul.

Moving away from beautiful friendships. Leaving the studios I worked SO VERY HARD to become part of - to start again. Single. 30. Jobless.

But these words are just words - not labels. We CHOOSE to label situations in a certain way - with a predisposed interpretation that we have manufactured on how we are “supposed” to feel. The most critical thing I have learned in the last year is how to be present in a situation by treating it as factual - with no labels or emotional attachment.

Maybe death is triumphant. Maybe divorce is radiant. Who knows - each situation is dependent on the person in it. When we can remove ourselves and let the experience be what it is - we can ride the wave, instead of being engulfed by it. 

I knew I was going to need time to process everything that had happened in the last three months. I knew I was going to arrive in Chicago with guns blazing, ready to take on the yoga world. I did not anticipate how ready the yoga world was ready to take me in...wow. The people, the studios, the auditions, the energy - I was welcomed in with open arms. I am humbled & grateful.

Not that the transition has been easy - logistically yes. Ridiculously smooth - which I keep saying enforces the fact that this path divergence, following my gut and my true self was right on. 

Emotionally easy - far from it. The barrage of feelings - unpredictable and raw - I have only begun to process.

So hence this trip - I need to reconnect to myself. Feel real happiness. Feel real pain and heartbreak - instead of plowing forward with the next move. To surrender to myself.

This can be awfully scary but I need it, I WANT it - to continue to heal and so that I may assist others in healing of their own.

// Truth - I secretly wanted to go completely off-grid for two weeks. But I knew that wasn’t realistic (bonjour, do you understand how much I love photography and my newfound obsession with snapchat video documentary?) - the universe had other plans, as it always does.

I will be spending the next two weeks volunteering at Peace Retreat, doing work and giving my time to others as a form of meditation. Some of this work is helping run Peace Retreat's social media. (Of course it is. #ihearyouuniverse)

Additionally, I was selected by the premium yoga brand prAna as a challenge leader for their February yoga challenge on instagram (read: daily posting of yoga poses for the next 30 days). Which is kick ass, and I am honored to be part of it.

Off gridding is not in my cards. But reconnecting to myself is - that is my #1 priority on this trip.

My mantra for 2015:     To Inspire 

My goal for 2015:          to write to write to write 

I have already shared this with some key people in my life, in my tribe, to help keep me accountable. Now I am sharing it with you - what is your intention for this year? What goals can help you manifest it? Who are key people in your life you can share that with? Or heck, share it with the world.

Be bold. Live your passion.  f e e d  y o u r  s o u l  |   xx


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